Ultracrepidarian government.

I saw this useful and impressive word yesterday – and no, I didn’t know what it meant either until I’d looked it up. It means a doddering old fart who bores people to tears by lecturing them about things he doesn’t understand and knows nothing about. It reminded me at once of baby faced Hancock, who looks more and more baffled every time he appears on TV and talks utter rubbish. He makes me think of a rabbit caught in the headlights. And other members of the Prime Mendaciter’s front bench team are every bit as bad, Gove assuming his baby face and trying to look bland, Ian Duncan Smith trying the same trick, and looking devious, Pritti Patel trying to look sympathetic and failing dismally, with her carefully rehearsed non-apology. And so on and so on. They are a totally deplorable gang.

But of course what they’re up against is not just their own incompetence – and by God are they incompetent! – but the necessity to tell lies  to cover what they are not doing and why they are not doing it. And that is proving to be almost impossible. And now more and more people are seeing through them.

One of our foremost writers has got them nailed. Our clear-sighted Phillip Pullman has put our case for us most powerfully. He writes:

”If it turns out to be true that the government, for Brexit related rUnknowneasons, refused to take part in the procurement advantage offered by EU governments, thus making it harder for the NHS to deal with Covid19 and placing thousands at risk, the entire front bench ought to resign.

But of course, they won’t: they have not a single grain of shame. So they should be arraigned on charges of conspiracy to murder. Nothing less will do. They knew the risks and thought they’d rather appease the foaming zealots of Brexit.”

That’s fighting talk. Thank you Phillip. We need that.

But now and at last all sorts of people are beginning to see through the tricks too. For example, Izzy Wildheart, writing on Twitter says, ‘I’ve got to the point now where I don’t believe anything the government says. They are con artists, the lot of them.’ And she asks, ‘ What happened to this country and how did we get into such an abysmal mess?’

And Kathie Bennettt goes further, saying, ‘Boris Johnson must resign now. His lousy leadership has cost us thousands of lives.’

And David Head, looking into the future and seeing how desperately change is needed, writes, with considerable anger, ‘If we come out of this with all the rickety, flyblown, worm-eaten old structures still intact, the same vain, indolent public schoolboys in charge, the same hedge fund managers stuffing their overloaded pockets with greasy fingers, our descendants will never forgive us.’

The Prime Mendaciter’s men and women may look and sound like an ultracrepidarian government that bores us to tears by mumbling and talking rubbish as if they don’t understand what they’re doing, but they know exactly what they’re doing – or not doing – and why.

Have we reached the point when we are prepared like Phillip Pullman to call them out? Are we strong enough and determined enough to bring about the change we need? Are there enough of us? Take heart, all you who know what’s going on. ‘The times they are a-changing’.


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