Be warned! This is rather a naughty story, although I didn’t expect to find it when that particular day started off.
The old darling and I were on holiday in Edinburgh, which was one of our seven favorite towns. I had just started planning a story set in Georgian Bath because that is another of our favorite towns and would give us a perfect excuse to visit it at frequent intervals. In it my heroine was going to work as a wet-nurse in a Georgian House and lo and behold there was another Georgian House in Charlotte Street in Edinburgh, all according to the waitress in the hotel we were staying in, fitted out exactly as it had been in the Eighteenth Century. So naturally, we went to take a look. It was as you can see from the picture an elegant house, but it had a surprise waiting for us in the master bedroom. Everything there was as we would have expected it, four poster bed, plenty of pillows, carpeted floor but… lying on the bedside cabinet was a huge, brass enema syringe, big enough to dose a horse! We had a very friendly guide showing us around this particular room and when I said ‘Good God what is that?!’ He laughed and said ‘Ay it is formidable!’ And then went on to explain why, ‘They were such gluttons’ he said, ‘so they got monstrously constipated and it took a dose like that to get them moving so to speak. They called it a clyster.’ And when I’d finished laughing, an entire scene fell into my mind. So that I had to stop and pull out my notepad and write it all down.
‘Here is a feisty heroine, who takes up a jug of water to the master of the house in his bedroom and then finds he is making hideous advances to her which she certainly doesn’t want or welcome, ‘adjust your petticoats me dear.’ She tells him over and over again that she isn’t willing, but he is a huge, stout, powerful man and persists. She searches about for a weapon to fight him with and finds the clyster. Whacks him across the head with it and while he is groaning, makes her getaway.’
The new book had started.
And now that new book is an old book being re-issued on Kindle by my new publishers Agora and due out tomorrow! Pre-order your copy here.